I got new bikinis. I would have liked to swim in Haukilahti but the beach was full of blue-green algae. I ate Greco-pizza in Cafe Mellsten (again) and then we drive to summer cottage. There was very warm and sunny. We went sauna and hanged in bed while the door was open and the sun was shining on my face. It felt like summer.
Here are photos of me and bikinis. At the moment I'm happy with my body. Still sometimes I feel I should have flatter stomach, thinner calves etc. I feel bad conscience when I don't exercise enough. I would like to be stronger, more flexible and non-fatter. Sometimes I would like to rip my hideous face off. But also I'm really trying to accept myself for who I am (LOL). I want to be slim and healthy, not anorexic. When I was anorexic I was always depressed, tired, weak, cold and sad. I wouldn't want to compare myself better people but it's my obsession. I would like to just focus my own life but I can't. I think I'm going to be an eternal loser. Hey, what I just wrote? I try to accept myself who I am? Yes I try...but I can't.
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