Turquoise bikinis

When we took these photos about a week ago, I said today is kesän lopettajaiset (end of the summer day). And unfortunately it seems I was right. It feels like autumn in Helsinki, chilly and rainy. Sad how ridiculously short summer is in Finland. This summer was cold and rainy, just like the last summer. In 2014 it was hot and immemorial. Hot summers always stick in my mind. Warm nights are quite rare in Finland and it feels unreal to have over 20 C in the night. It also felt unreal when I visited Croatia and there was hot 24/7. What a perfect place to live. 

 I got new bikinis. I would have liked to swim in Haukilahti but the beach was full of blue-green algae. I ate Greco-pizza in Cafe Mellsten (again) and then we drive to summer cottage. There was very warm and sunny. We went sauna and hanged in bed while the door was open and the sun was shining on my face. It felt like summer. 

Here are photos of me and bikinis. At the moment I'm happy with my body. Still sometimes I feel I should have flatter stomach, thinner calves etc. I feel bad conscience when I don't exercise enough. I would like to be stronger, more flexible and non-fatter. Sometimes I would like to rip my hideous face off. But also I'm really trying to accept myself for who I am (LOL). I want to be slim and healthy, not anorexic. When I was anorexic I was always depressed, tired, weak, cold and sad. I wouldn't want to compare myself better people but it's my obsession. I would like to just focus my own life but I can't. I think I'm going to be an eternal loser. Hey, what I just wrote? I try to accept myself who I am? Yes I try...but I can't. 

Thank you for visiting my blog.

Ducks of Seurasaari

I don't know what to write. In fact I don't want to write. A new, different period has now begun in my life. I'm very happy but on the other hand also a bit scared.

Ducks are so nice. I could only be with ducks (all the birds that have flippers). I don't need people. Cats are also good company. Yeah, I really don't have anything to say Bye.

So cute ugly ducklings. Just one of them had became white.